By Emily
McDougall, LMFT
The
beginning of a new year is often a time when we consider making changes in
ourselves. We’ve all said it, “this year I am going to go to the gym everyday!”
“This year I am going to live completely within my budget.” ”This year I am not
going to check my emails on the weekends and only focus on family.” We make
sweeping resolutions that leave us little room for error and a lot of room for
guilt and negative self-talk. I have started many years this way, only to
become frustrated, disappointed, or (perhaps in a subconscious attempt to
protect my ego) completely forget about my goal all together.
One January, several years ago, a
dear friend shared her New Year renewal tip with me. I immediately thought she
was brilliant. Her take on the standard resolution was simple: choose a
meaningful word or phrase that represents how you wish to live that year. Rather than focusing on a specific behavior
that you wish to rigidly change, focusing on a theme allows you the freedom to
seek your goal at any time and in all that you do. Let me give you an example.
My renewal word last year was Joy. It was my intention to seek,
create, and nurture joy for myself and others throughout the year. This joyful
journey included turning a weekly grocery shopping trip with my kids into a
scavenger hunt; wearing a fabulous, one-of-a-kind, mommy-please-wear-it-to-work
macaroni necklace to a lengthy business meeting; and creating a mock American
Idol audition during a ridiculous traffic jam. Making a choice to be joyous,
even when fun seemed to be nowhere in sight, made for a pretty wonderful year.
This year, you may wish to give
this renewed resolution a try. Start by choosing a theme (a word or phrase)
that is meaningful to you and illustrates how you hope to describe this year in
the future. Would you like your year to be playful,
calm, or creative? Would you like this year to have meaningful connections with your friends and loved ones? Or perhaps
you would like to look back on this year and realize that you lived with more courage or curiosity than you have in the past. Regardless of the word or
phrase you use as your theme for the year, the more connection you have to it –
the more engaged you will be in living it.
Creating little reminders of your
goal can be useful in keeping you invested. Little notes of your word or phrase
on your bathroom mirror, dashboard, or the home-screen of your cell phone can
keep your objective present. Sharing your theme with loved ones and friends may
offer opportunities for you to share your progress and meaningful moments. Making
time to reflect on your theme allows you to assess how you are bringing it to
life and how you can continue to do so in the future – what’s working and what
adjustments can you make so that you can live your theme more fully tomorrow?
This rejuvenated take on a New
Year’s resolution can be a great way to focus on being your best self every day.
How have you started anew in this New Year?
How have you started anew in this New Year?
